500 Words a Week - The Happiness Equation
Happiness is the topic of many non-fiction books, and as we read more of these, we can begin to see a common thread. This common thread was simplified in Mo Gawdat’s “Solve for Happy”, in which he describes his happiness equation:
Happiness = Your perception of the events of your life > Your expectations of how life should behave.
“If you perceive the events as equal to or greater than your expectations, you’re happy – or at least not unhappy.”
“It’s not the event that makes us unhappy; it’s the way we think about it that does.”
We know that our thoughts aren’t always an accurate representation of the actual event. Yet we are stuck in a comparison mindset, constantly comparing how we believe the event is going with what our expectations are. We then begin to let our mind drift elsewhere, thinking about things we would rather be doing or comparing to previous events where we perceived ourselves as being happy. It’s hard to feel any sort of joy when your head is elsewhere, when you aren’t truly observing what’s happening around you, when you’re constantly comparing to other events. Linking to other books and other authour’s, we begin to see a clear picture rearing its head:
“Eventually you will see that the real cause of problem is not life itself. It’s the commotion the mind makes about life that really causes the problems.” – Michael A Singer.
“Buddha believed that the less you judge things – including the contents of your mind – the more clearly you’ll see them, and the less deluded you’ll be.” – Robert Wright.
On a separate note, one of my favourite thoughts from a book is “you are not your idea, and if you identify too closely with your ideas, you will take offense when challenged” – Ed Catmull from Creativity Inc. For me this is about not wrapping our sense of self worth in the work we do. An idea is an idea, it’s not who you are as a person. Equally your work is your work, it’s not who you are a person. When someone comments on your work, it’s not an attack on you. This thought is also repeated in Solve for Happy; “We identify ourselves with our knowledge. We defend what we know and get offended when it’s attacked. Since what we think is true is often different for different people, the attacks become more frequent. It becomes a constant struggle to defend an ego. Undress. Leave your knowledge open to attacks. Be wise. Define yourself by openness to those who contradict what you know. Be an explorer, a seeker of the truth, always ready to admit being wrong in order to continue the quest.”
