500 Words a Week - You can’t control what others think about you
I got the chance to catch up with some friends recently who I hadn’t seen in a long time. We were sitting outside in a nice beer garden, at a friend’s birthday party. Reminiscing, talking about what we are up to now and old times. When two random people beside us kept trying to enter our conversation. We are polite, entertain their interruption and then resume our previous conversation. This happens a few times, we talk to them briefly but then try to go back to our conversation as we hadn’t seen each other in a while. Eventually these two people leave, while one mutters under their breath “should we leave these people are weird”. It was interesting that both of our perceptions of that interaction were the opposite.
It got me thinking, we really can’t control how other people interpret us or what other people think about us. Everyone views the world around them and experiences what happens to them in slightly different manners. If we are constantly fretting about how to change or positively impact what others think of us, we will be miserable. There’s a line between being conscientious and focusing so much on what others think about you, you never do what you truly want to do or express how you truly feel.
About 3-4 years ago I interviewed for a job, which I didn’t get. Upon being told the news I said I was disappointed. Who wouldn’t be when going for a job you really wanted. Some time goes by and having another conversation with this person who interviewed me. They mentioned I came across arrogant receiving the news, saying it seemed like I had thought I had the job. Again, this was another part of life that got me thinking you really can’t control how people view you.
Listening to various podcasters, such as Chris Williamson, sure you can’t control what people think about you. “What you can do is build an undeniable stack of evidence proving you are what you say you are.” So what one person said you seemed arrogant, you know yourself you aren’t, along with a stack of other people who know you.
Everyone is the star in their own movie, worrying what others think about them. Everyone is so wrapped up and worried about how they come across, they pay hardly any attention to other people around them. You can’t control what others think about you, as they are too worried about how they come across.
