500 Words a Week - You’re Still You, and I Love You

Christopher Reeve was the original superman. In 1995, in a tragic accident he fell off his horse and became paralyzed from the neck down. Christopher credits his wife Dana with saving his life when he first began to wake up after the accident. Christopher recalled how he was contemplating whether they should let him go or not, when Dana said the words that saved his life, “you’re still you, and I love you”.

It’s a beautiful moment of understanding, of a person fully knowing who another is and loving them completely for that. Not the fame and influence, but the person on the inside.

This moment between Dana and Christopher is something we could probably use a little more of in today’s world. It’s a wonderful reminder on what the relationships in our world should be based upon. Deep bonds of love and understanding. It’s our primary role within relationships, regardless if they are with family, friends or a significant other, to look to understand the person across from us completely for who they are. Not the external images that are portrayed, but for the small, subtle and harder to find unique parts of our personalities that are only shown once we know another.

When I heard those words Dana said to Christopher, it made me reflect upon identity. How we can wrap ourselves so closely with what we do, we think that it makes us all of who we are. In the past, this is something I struggled with. Identifying so closely with a career that it starts seeping into all aspects of our life. That we are unable to create space between our work selves and who we are at home.

What helped me was realizing how much of myself I was giving up to try and chase something or be someone who I no longer fully resonated with.

When someone asks you to tell them about yourself, if the first and only thing that comes to your head is the job you do, I think this is a sign you may have wrapped your identity too closely to your career. This was my experience. In some circumstances I think part of life is continually figuring out who we are. For we change, as do our values and priorities, and that’s ok. The biggest aspect about this change is that it must continually bring us to a new place in which we feel more comfortable within our own skin. With each change we further remove ourselves from the masks and characters so many people are currently playing and who we thought we needed to be to succeed within the world. With each change we get closer to the essence of who we are.

Dana’s words and sheer dedication to care for Christopher after his accident until he passed away, reminds us of what love looks like.

For maybe if we keep Dana’s words in mind, we may have our own encounter with a loved one in the future, where we need to remind them that we love them for who they are, and not their standing within the world.

“You’re still you, and I love you.”

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    500 Words a Week - The Power of Slowing Down in a Fast-Paced World.

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