500 Words a Week - The Four Phases of The Quarter Life Crisis

The four phases of the quarter life crisis discussed below are taken from “The Holistic Phase Model of Early Adult Crisis” by Robinson (2013).

Phase One: Locked In

An individual feels trapped into their current commitments that no longer resonate with them. The most common aspect someone may feel trapped in, is in relation to their careers. They are dissatisfied with their current situation, but they feel like they can’t do anything to change it. Further causing feelings of powerlessness and feeling trapped. 

In this phase, individuals have adapted a more outward sense of identity that matches their current role, concealing their authentic sense of self. Their behaviour is aimed at meeting the expectations of others. In this stage, individuals strongly identify who they are as a person with the roles they are in.

Phase Two: Separation/ Time Out

This phase begins when an individual begins to distance themselves from what they felt locked into, be that a job, relationship or social group. This is the most actively intense time of the crisis, when a mixture of emotions are felt involving sadness, anxiety, excitement, relief and shame. With self evaluations ranging from upbeat self confidence to self disgust. 

There is then a gradual acceptance that leaving is possible and a growing motivation to change or escape. This phase encompasses a painful identity vacuum, in that an individual has stepped away from their old identity that used to define them but has yet to find a new one. 

The individual then may take intentional time away to reflect upon their situation. They may travel or move away to gain some distance and perspective on their troubles.

The separation and time out sub stages of this phase are two parts of the detachment process. One may come before the other.

Phase Three: Exploration

New commitments and goals are tried out. An individual looks for purposeful ways in which to live their life in accordance with their values. Individuals become increasingly more comfortable in exploring their new identity, allowing it to evolve and change rather than fixing it to an externally defined role.

Phase Four: Rebuilding

This involves a renewed engagement with long term commitments and clear plans. An individual comes out of this crisis with a greater sense of intrinsic motivation. Work and life are described with more satisfaction and are enjoyable again. An individual has an enhanced sense of purpose and meaning and they begin to live their life in accordance with these.

There’s no timeline for how long each of these phases will be. The quarter life crisis can last months or years, and it may happen more than once. Someone may feel stuck in one phase for a significant amount of time before moving on, and not everyone will have a positive resolution at the end of phase four. Certain individuals may completely skip phases of the crisis, or as they near phase four may be thrown backwards into one of the previous phases.

It can be a time of feeling immense loneliness as we believe everyone around us has it all figured out, and we are somehow falling behind. Yet we aren’t alone in our struggles. The quarter life crisis is a very normal thing to experience as we navigate our way through early adulthood. It’s a time of immense growth when we develop a greater sense of meaning and purpose for how we want to live our life. We also learn some of the coping skills to deal with stress that we will use for the rest of our life. With that in mind, it’s important that we face these feelings when they occur rather than hide from them, as we are then only delaying encountering them to further down the line.