500 Words a Week - Languishing

This past year has been one of the most challenging years for many of us. Normality was completely stripped away from us, and it is still uncertain when we will get it back and will it ever truly be back to normal again.

I struggled throughout this year, but I couldn’t define why I was struggling or what was making me feel this way. I wasn’t intensely sad or down, but the usual energy and enthusiasm I usually have couldn’t be found. My work days were shorter due to limitations about how long we could stay in work due to COVID. Even with these shorter days, coming home I would feel drained. I used to pride myself on reading 10 pages from 3 different books every day, but that changed to binge watching the office and aimlessly scrolling through my phone.

With encouragement from my loved ones I sought out help to try and change how I was feeling. This helped greatly, weirdly even before I had actually completed the first session, the mere process of booking the session helped. I think because I was finally doing something about how I was feeling.

Recently I came upon a term that shed light to how I was feeling and that is languishing. The type of person I am, I need to know the why, what and how. The why I was feeling the way I was, was clear and my sessions helped understand this, that COVID stripping away every sense of normality which caused people to feel different ways. The how could I change my feelings was helped greatly through my sessions, primarily because I was taking steps to change my feelings and understanding that it was ok to feel this way. The what I was feeling was unclear, until recently.

The following is taken from Adam Grant’s wonderful article on languishing.

“Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.”

“Languishing is the neglected middle child of mental health. It’s the void between depression and flourishing — the absence of well-being. You don’t have symptoms of mental illness, but you’re not the picture of mental health either. You’re not functioning at full capacity. Languishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus, and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work.”

Understanding what it was I was feeling, and still feel at times helped bring me clarity. Knowing others are experiencing the same thing and getting through it has helped.

I write this article with the sole intention of if you feel you are going through something similar, you’re not alone. Also, as coaches we are notorious for giving ourselves away. We give so much of our energy away in the hope it will transfer to some of more unmotivated athletes, I believe we pay for this in the long run. I know I did, my personal life took a hit for my professional life.