500 Words a Week - Finding Calm in Stressful Moments
There’s a beautiful essay in David Whyte’s Consolations 2 about breath.
“The steadiness and surety of the breath in speech is a measure of the steadiness and surety of our lives, and then, out of that, the surety of all the lives for which our speech makes us responsible.”
I applied this to my own life recently as I was asked on a podcast for my second time. The first was a few years ago, and I was a nervous wreck. I remember my hands actively shaking when I clicked join meeting. Everytime I made a mistake in my speech I panicked, further adding to my nerves. Every pause filled with “em”, “eh”, and “like”.
This time, I embodied David’s philosophy and slightly adjusted it. I kept reminding myself if our breath is sure and steadfast so too will our words and thoughts be. I focused on this as I joined the meeting, and low and behold no shaking hands. Each time I made a mistake, or misspoke, I paused, took a breath and carried on.
So often we get caught up in the rush of everyday life, our breath becomes shallow and hurried. Much like our thoughts and actions. Never pausing, never slowing down, never considering our next thought or action. We consistently do the first thing that comes to mind, and sometimes it results in an unwise action or unkind words.
David reminds us that by ensuring our breath is steady, we are bringing ourselves back into the moment. Back into the present. No longer lost in the clouds of “what if’s”. Our mind is back inhabiting our body as we focus upon our breath.
David provides us with a quick insight into what we can do during times of stress and pressure. When the water begins to boil, and we are worried it might start to spill over. We can pause, we can breathe. Feeling the rise and fall of our chest, or the rush of air through our nose with each inhale and exhale.
Our breath provides us with the nourishment to continue on.
“Easy, relaxed breathing always leads to surprise: at how centred we already are, how unhurried we are underneath it all, how patient we never knew we could be.”
Our breath is always there, hidden beyond our worries and angst. Our “thankless companion” as David describes it.
When we hear our breath described in the ways David portrays, it’s no wonder we are encouraged to focus upon it when we are most stressed. How much our perspective changes after a few deep inhales and long exhales.
On a side note, during these times of heightened stress, as well as focusing on our breathing, can we tell ourselves that everything is ok, we are safe. Be that before giving a speech, a difficult conversation, or in the midst of hard exercise. We must remind the body that we are ok, and each time we do, we become more accustomed to bringing ourselves to these challenging places.
