500 Words a Week - Alone, But Not Lonely.
There is a large difference between solitude and loneliness, yet we often confuse the two.
Solitude provides us with a safe space to be alone, to replenish our energy, and to delve deep into the big questions within. Loneliness, on the other hand, is a sense of isolation, a longing for connection, company, and understanding.
It takes great courage to meet the full force of our aloneness. Much of modern life is designed to quell that voice within that is reaching for connection. Social media allows us to falsely "catch up" with friends as we view their pictures from afar without ever truly reaching out. Podcasts give us the illusion of being part of a conversation, though we are not conversing. Netflix shows that keep us glued to our screens, the message “are we still watching”, a brief reminder of our aloneness. A house, a room, a couch, these can become our own little self enclosed world. Sheltered and safe, we forget the wonder in the world around us.
But loneliness is not just the absence of people, it is also a disconnect from those around us. We can be surrounded by others and still feel out of place, unseen, or misaligned. Admitting our loneliness may be the first step toward true friendship, meaningful work, or the pursuit of love.
In solitude, however, we can find a place of nourishment. We face the questions no one else can answer for us. Who are you when you are alone with yourself? How does that differ from the version of you that the world sees? Why do we so often hide the self we experience in solitude from our daily life? What would happen if we let it out, openly sharing our thoughts, interests, and dreams?
When we are alone, we confront our greatest vulnerabilities. Our minds drift through past experiences, and unfinished conversations, while imagining the possibilities of tomorrow. And yet, so many of us are deeply uncomfortable in this space. We see it on the underground, on airplanes with no signal, people refreshing their phones despite the lack of connection. Staring at the spinning wheel, hoping for distraction rather than facing their own thoughts. Silence, even for a moment, has become too painful.
But what if we allowed ourselves to sit with it? To embrace solitude rather than fear it?
Perhaps in doing so, we would come to understand ourselves more fully, and in turn, connect with the world in a more meaningful way. In sitting with solitude and asking ourselves where our loneliness truly lies, we may begin to see the path forward, to create a life with deeper connection. It starts with awareness, an awareness only found in solitude.
