500 Words a Week - A Question to Ask Ourselves

I recently got asked the question “What does success look like to you?”

My answer was:

Success for me looks like when one lives one’s life in accordance with one’s values. That there is no difference or ambiguity between what one says and what one does. We are confident and comfortable to be our true self’s, even if that differs from the norm around us. That we attempt to lift ourselves and everyone around us up. That we remain positive and hopeful when it is easy to sink into being negative and pessimistic.

Reflecting further on this, I think this is a question we should all ask ourselves and challenge ourselves to come up with an answer that we will continually stick with throughout our life. A large problem we can find ourselves in, is living our life in accordance with what other people’s definition of success is. We are constantly worried about whether we are living up to others’ expectations rather than clearly defining what success looks like for ourselves, and attempting to hold ourselves accountable to that vision. We are constantly comparing ourselves to others, and we see how they may have achieved success in one or two realms but we don’t see the whole picture. We don’t see what has ultimately been sacrificed for them to get to where they are. This is common when we compare ourselves to those who have achieved much in their life, it is usually at the expense of several other things.

In my definition of success, I didn’t mention things like finance, or work or our career. Yet these are things that I think about a lot and get caught in a loop of over analysing what is the future going to be like. Or thinking about things within these realms `I need to try to achieve to be deemed successful, however as none of these are in my definition of success, I need to remind myself what’s truly important to me. Sure, some elements of these play a part in some of my values I hold in high regard but not as much as a I value trying to be a reliable and authentic person.

This brings the light the alien test. Imagine an alien from outer space has come to observe you. The alien has a sheet with your so-called values on it. Would what this alien sees of your life match up with your values? Or would it just see someone who is constantly working, going from one thing to the next, pushing their values to the side to attempt to live up to those around them?